He'll Never Know
by Wizardslover
Summary: AU High School Kenlos. Kendall first spoke to Carlos when he was 15. Since then, a lot of things have happened to make Kendall realize his feelings for Carlos but no matter what, he will not confess.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: AU Kenlos.** **Haven't written anything in ages. The school system is the Irish one but it's still set in America. I just don't know anything about America so here goes… Contains angst.**

Transition year was the first time Kendall started questioning his sexuality. He'd been attending the all-boys high school since he was 12 but it wasn't until he turned 15 that he noticed how boys appealed to him more than girls. Namely, one boy - Carlos Garcia. Sure, Carlos had been going to the same school as Kendall since 1st year but they'd never really spoken or been in the same class. Until now. This was Carlos's first time being in a class without his best friend, Jett. He'd made a few friends in the class because of his sense of humor and ability to brighten everyone's day with a smile but Carlos started talking to Kendall more and more even though James and Logan, Kendall's best friends, were in the class too.

It started with simply asking Kendall about their timetable and once - when Carlos found Logan's locker key but was in a bit of a hurry, asked, no - entrusted Kendall with giving it back. Kendall's heart fluttered every time Carlos spoke to him. It was embarrassing but also endearing. Soon after that, the boys found out they would be performing in a play. Some kind of western. Kendall auditioned but didn't get a part. He was left making the costumes instead.

Carlos got a part and when Kendall realized Carlos would be dancing as part of his role _with another guy_ Kendall was extremely jealous. Carlos looked incredible as a cowboy. But Carlos wasn't satisfied. He was drawn to a large gemstone which had been left in the costumes area for as long as Kendall could remember. Kendall hadn't been doing much one day in costumes so he took a strap of leather which had been left over from the gun holsters he'd made and sewed it into the shape of a ring. He'd given it to Carlos without much thought. Carlos had grinned at him before taking the gemstone and using a glue gun to stick it to the ring. Kendall blushed slightly, realizing it looked kind of like an engagement ring now. Carlos sure had grown on him a lot.

Soon after the play, the Transition years took a trip to the city. They were going to be witnessing some trials in a courthouse but first, they were staying the night in a hotel. James and Logan were staying together but since the rooms were only for two people, Kendall had to stay with somebody else. Somebody who turned out to be one of Carlos's friends. The morning after the first night, Carlos came out into the hallway and noticed Kendall's wet hair. Carlos had been struggling to get his shower working so Kendall tried to help him but he couldn't get it to work either so he offered to let Carlos shower in his room. Carlos agreed. That's when Kendall realized Carlos was going to be naked in his room! He struggled to avoid getting a semi, which was even more difficult when Carlos emerged from the bathroom wearing only a towel. He only just about managed to keep control of himself. As soon as Carlos left, Kendall found himself fantasizing about him. He had to force his thoughts to stop because if he hadn't, having a second shower would've seemed very suspicious.

Later that day, Kendall found himself alone with Carlos on the ground floor of the courtrooms. They somehow ended up discussing why they weren't better friends. Carlos confessed that he'd consider Kendall his best friend in their class if Kendall wasn't friends with James. Kendall was shocked to find out that Carlos basically despised everything James stood for! Unfortunately, by this stage, Kendall was so head over heels for Carlos, there was very little the other could say to change that.

On Kendall's 16th birthday, he received his first hug from Carlos. Kendall had actually been receiving a hug from his friend, Dak, but Carlos had joined in and hugged Kendall from behind. Kendall's heart started pounding when he noticed Carlos was the one hugging him and he hoped nobody had noticed. Luckily, nobody had.

The next time anything remotely interesting happened with Carlos was when they had a free class together in the art room. Kendall was feeling really sick and lying on the ground clutching his stomach because it hurt to sit or stand. James and Logan were used to Kendall's antics and didn't say anything but soon the substitute teacher noticed something was wrong. She demanded that Kendall go home. Carlos offered to get him some water from the staff room and Kendall happily let him, hoping his generosity meant he had some feelings for Kendall. Carlos sat with Kendall while he was waiting to be collected from the school.

They started to chat, ending up discussing their futures. Kendall was intrigued to learn more about Carlos. He found out the other boy loved children, wanted to work somewhere he could help them, and couldn't wait to have his own. This disheartened Kendall and left him believing he could never tell Carlos how he felt. If he and Carlos ever did get together, he would never be able to provide Carlos with his _own _children. After that, Kendall decided it would be best if he just let Carlos get on with his life and settle down with a nice girl and raise a perfect, beautiful family. After all, Carlos definitely deserved to be happy and Kendall would never forgive himself if he took that away from him.

**A/N: Please review. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This is probably a bit (a lot) OOC. Kendall's birthday is supposed to be in November but for some reason, in this I put it in February. I also forgot to put a disclaimer in the last chapter…**

**Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with Big Time Rush.**

When Fifth Year came around, Carlos was no longer in the same main class as Kendall (They still had Biology together) so they didn't talk much anymore. Kendall really tried to forget about Carlos. He dated a girl but that didn't even last two months. James had gotten a girlfriend long before he had and they'd even slept together. Kendall was jealous of their relationship. So what if Logan had even less experience than Kendall? All Kendall wanted at this stage was to just let go. He held out through the majority of Fifth Year but a couple of months after he turned 17, he couldn't stand being on his own anymore.

On a whim, he picked up some random girl on a street corner and paid for a night together at a hotel. The next morning, as he threw the used condom in the bin, Kendall didn't feel like he thought he would. He was no longer a virgin but he'd lost that to someone he knew literally nothing about. He felt like an idiot. He shouldn't have felt jealous of James. He should be happy with his life. He was just sick of being the youngest among his friends. He wanted to experience things before them but it wasn't right to do it like this. He left some cash on the table next to the bed and went home.

That night, Kendall dreamt about Carlos. He remembered a time he and Carlos had ended up in the bathroom together on the way back from the Courtroom trials. At the time, Carlos had been coming in just as Kendall had been leaving and they'd simply smiled, acknowledging each other. In Kendall's dream, however, Kendall had grabbed Carlos's hand and dragged him into one of the stalls with him. He'd then proceeded to close the door and push Carlos up against it, pressing their lips together as if his life depended on it.

Kendall woke up gasping for breath. He realized he was in over his head with his feelings for Carlos but he could not build up the courage to talk to anyone about it at school later that day. Kendall got to English class a bit early that day. Nobody was there and Kendall hated waiting in the classroom by himself so he went next-door to Logan's English class. Logan always got to class early! Kendall sat down and started talking to him while more of the class started filing in… including Carlos.

Kendall seriously missed their conversations so he decided on a whim to pretend he was actually in this class. While looking directly at Carlos, he stated simply, "I like this English class." Only then did Carlos notice his presence. Carlos immediately asked him if he was actually in this class. Kendall pretended to look upset and replied, "Oh my God, Carlos! I can't believe you thought I wasn't in this class. I'm so insulted!" By this stage, Carlos understood what was going on and decided to formally welcome Kendall to the class. Kendall could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks and quickly moved to return to his class after smiling once more at Carlos.

Kendall went into that English class many more times just to see Carlos's face. They'd just smile at each other, acknowledging their previous conversation, sometimes making small talk. Logan began to get a little bit suspicious. Kendall tried to pass it off as just 'missing the times they'd talked last year' but anyone with a brain could tell Kendall had feelings for the other boy. Logan wasn't really one for confrontation though so he never brought it up again.

Kendall struggled a bit that year, feeling like any day somebody would figure out his secret and he'd be bullied non-stop for the remainder of his school days. He wasn't too worried about his family. They'd always been fairly understanding and never objected to any same-sex relationships on television shows. What he was worried about was people finding out about his crush on Carlos… especially Carlos himself. No matter how hard Kendall tried to convince himself otherwise, Carlos was undeniably straight.

Kendall thought about little else over his Easter break. Sure, he brought James and Logan over and went around to their houses sometimes but there was always this nagging in the back of his mind, reminding him of what he desperately wanted to ignore. It'd gotten to the stage where almost every song he listened to reminded him of Carlos. He'd even dreamt about him a couple of times (completely innocently, of course).

A few days after they returned to school, Kendall was sitting in SPHE class, discussing 'boundaries' with the others, when he noticed Carlos passing by the window, preparing to enter the room with a message. He accidentally found himself smirking at the other boy and shockingly, Carlos returned it. Kendall gulped, turning away quickly and wondering what had come over him. He used to pride himself on his subtlety. Yet when next class came around, it practically happened again. It just so happened to be Biology - Kendall's only class with Carlos.

Kendall had been sitting sideways on his chair, talking to the people in the row behind him when he happened to look over at the door. Carlos entered right at that moment, met Kendall's eyes and this time, he smiled first. Kendall, embarrassingly, found himself breaking the gaze, looking down and smiling to himself. He felt like a moron. Obviously Carlos would know he liked him now. The boy wasn't stupid!

Kendall rushed out of class as soon as the bell rang for the end of school and hopped onto the bus. Sometimes when he looked out the window , he'd see Carlos talking to Jett and grinning. That was pretty much the only reason why he sat where he did. Today wasn't much different except for one, considerably big difference: Carlos and Jett were holding hands. Kendall gaped at them. He had no idea how this had happened.

There was no way Carlos and Jett could be dating, surely? In fact, only a few weeks beforehand, he'd overheard Jett talking about his newest girlfriend. He'd definitely been through a few and so Kendall was convinced that this was some kind of practical joke. Maybe Carlos had noticed him watching him from the bus and wanted to – Kendall paused here in utter confusion – make him jealous?

**A/N: Again, please review. **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Chapter 3… I honestly have no idea where I'm going with this. I have no plan, I literally write it as it enters my head. Bear with me!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own BTR.**

Kendall spent the entire night contemplating how he could tell Carlos but to no avail. The next day, Carlos was never far from Jett and Kendall still had no idea what he'd say to him even if they were alone. So Kendall was forced to go and talk to Logan about it, as much as he disliked the idea, he really was stumped. Kendall arranged to stay at Logan's that night so they could talk in private.

When Kendall arrived at Logan's house, he felt really nervous. He had no idea how he was going to go about this. He knocked on the door. Logan opened it and was just saying "Hey" when Kendall blurted out "I'm gay." Logan was surprised at the outburst but admitted, "I know" before stepping back to let Kendall in. Kendall was slightly confused but walked in, removing his jacket and hanging it on the coat stand as he had done many times before.

Logan led the way into the kitchen where his mom had prepared some food for the two boys. She left them to eat and went into the living room. Logan figured now was as good a time as any to discuss Kendall's issue. "So, what's happened that's led to your sudden announcement?" he asked, knowing something was up from the way Kendall came out.

Kendall sighed, knowing Logan would just cut to the chase. "I saw Carlos holding hands with Jett". Logan raised an eyebrow at him. "Seriously? Jett?" he asked. Kendall nodded. "I don't understand it," he replied, "Jett's straight. That much is obvious. It's Carlos I'm confused about. Why would he and Jett…" he stopped when he noticed the smirk on Logan's face. "What?" he asked. "I knew you liked Carlos." Logan boasted. Kendall blushed but was a bit annoyed at the lack of help Logan was being. "Look, I just need some advice. You're a lot smarter than I am." Kendall admitted.

Logan started laughing. "Maybe at science or maths but this is relationship advice you're asking for!" Kendall frowned. Surely there was something he could help with. "Please, just suggest _something!_" Kendall begged. Logan looked at him for a second, trying to figure out what had happened his friend. "Dude," he began, "how long have you had this crush on Carlos?" Kendall bowed his head and mumbled, "Uh… a couple of years, I guess". Logan looked at him in shock. "_Years?_" he questioned. Kendall nodded. Logan smiled softly and said, "Well, it's about time you came out with it then. Okay, we can work on a plan to get him to go out with you."

Kendall hugged his friend in thanks. They spent the next few hours contemplating how exactly to go about it while playing video games. Eventually Logan was so fed up with trying to think of something he mindlessly suggested inviting Carlos over and locking the two of them in a closet. Kendall glared at his friend and suggested maybe it was time for both of them to just go to sleep. This had been a terrible idea and Kendall was no better off. He'd just have to see how things played out.

The next day, Kendall was not in a good mood. As he and Logan made their way to school, neither spoke a word to each other. When they arrived, they quickly separated. Logan went off to find James. Kendall went to get his books from his locker. Carlos was the only other person there so Kendall gave the other boy a half smile and a "Hello" before opening his locker, cutting off his view from where Carlos stood. Kendall took out a few books and moved to close his locker when he got the biggest fright of his life, causing him to drop his books. Carlos, who had been standing right behind Kendall's locker door, quickly bent down to help Kendall pick them up.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Carlos apologised, his face turning red.

"It's okay," Kendall assured him, "I wasn't really concentrating."

"Somethingdistracting you?" Carlos asked, genuinely interested.

"Some_one_" Kendall sighed, picking up the rest of his books, shoving them into his bag and walking out, leaving a very confused Carlos behind.

Kendall had his first class that day with Logan but they barely said a word to each other. Kendall was thinking over that morning, trying to figure out why Carlos had been standing behind the door of his locker in the first place. It's not like he had to walk that way in order to leave. Had Carlos wanted to talk to him? Kendall shook his head, trying to get rid of those obviously inaccurate thoughts and concentrate on whatever he was supposed to be doing.

Lunch time came around fairly slowly but when it did Kendall was in for a surprise. Carlos had walked over and asked to speak with him. At first he was terrified; he knew Carlos had had his second class that morning with Logan and was afraid Logan might have said something to him. Nevertheless, he agreed to go for a walk with him. When they got outside, Carlos led the way over to the hockey pitch. They sat down by one of the goal posts.

"So, what's this about?" Kendall asked.

"Well, um…" Carlos stuttered, "I guess it's about you and this 'someone' you mentioned earlier. I want to help you, if you'll let me. Has someone hurt you?"

Kendall looked up at Carlos's beautiful, even when frustrated, face and debated whether or not he could just tell him.

"Nobody has hurt me physically, if that's what you're asking." Kendall promised.

"Emotionally then?" Carlos asked, his face unreadable.

"I guess you could say that." Kendall nodded, still unsure as to why he was even telling Carlos all this. Why did Carlos want to know? What would he do if he found out? Kendall found himself swept up in a fantasy. He snapped out of it when Carlos started waving his hand in front of his head. "Sorry," Kendall divulged, "Did you say something?"

Carlos nodded. "I was just asking what kind of emotions the person evoked."

This was when Kendall became suspicious. That wasn't a phrase Carlos would use. It sounded a lot more like Logan. "You already know don't you? Logan told you everything, didn't he?" Kendall accused.

Carlos flushed bright red. "He just said someone evoked positive emotions in you and I had the preeminent chance of finding out who"

"And that didn't strike you as odd?" Kendall asked, feeling slightly relieved.

"Well, I don't really know what 'preeminent' means. I was actually kind of hoping you could tell me." Carlos smiled, his eyes sparkling.

"It means best, I guess. Or superior."

Then the bell rang and Kendall ran before Carlos had the chance to put the sentence back together.

**A/N: I like reviews. Hint hint.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Welcome to instalment number 4! This one contains a text conversation via mobile phone. I am completely opposed to shortening words and using silly acronyms so I'm going to pretend everyone uses proper grammar when texting.**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own BTR.**

Kendall was blushing like crazy as he made his way back from the hockey pitch. Classes dragged on and he really just wanted to go home and pretend nothing had happened. After 'talking' to Logan, of course. He found him right after school and didn't waste any time.

"What the fucking hell were you thinking?" Kendall asked in annoyance.

"I was thinking we were both terrible at coming up with a plan and maybe if it looked like _he _was making the first move you guys would just start dating already" Logan replied sheepishly.

"He barely understood what you said to him. He basically only talked to_ me_ to find out what _you _were trying to tell him." Kendall said accusingly.

Logan frowned. "I dumbed it down as much as I thought necessary." He stated.

Kendall couldn't help but burst out laughing. "Dude, seriously…" he started, "if you think 'preeminent' is dumbed down, you might need to rethink your standard of intelligence!"

Logan looked down at his feet. "I'm sorry," he said, "you're probably right."

Kendall felt bad for upsetting his friend. After all, he did mean well. "Cheer up. All is forgiven." Kendall promised. "Now, how'd you like to go get some ice-cream?"

Logan looked at him like he was crazy. "Have you been outside recently? It's not exactly ice-cream weather!"

"Is that a no?" Kendall asked, grinning.

"No" Logan laughed, "Let's go!"

They went to the closest shop and Kendall was surprised to see Carlos there, behind the counter. The boy smiled shyly at Kendall as he walked towards him. "How can I help you?" Carlos asked.

"How long have you been working here?" Kendall asked.

"About a week. I quit my last job because my boss kept getting mad at me whenever anything went wrong." Carlos replied, nonchalantly.

"Was it your fault things kept going wrong?"

"Maybe"

Both boys started laughing. Logan stood watching them from the side of the room, waiting for Kendall to get the ice-creams. Eventually Kendall bought the damn things and they left, after Kendall waved and smiled at Carlos and Carlos grinned back. Logan fought the urge to roll his eyes.

"So, what did you guys talk about?" Logan asked after they had finished their ice-cream and headed back to Kendall's house.

"Well, uh… first, we talked about his job and stuff. Then we kind of discussed what happened earlier. He wanted to know why you said he had the best chance of finding out who I liked. I told him that he should really think about it. Then I got our ice-cream and left" Kendall sighed.

"He must seriously be the most naïve person in the universe." Logan said, exasperatedly. "Why do you like him again?"

"Shut up!" Kendall said as he arrived at the front door. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Logan nodded and waved goodbye.

Kendall decided to just start into his homework. He ate a couple of hours later and had just settled down to watch T.V. when his phone beeped. Kendall hadn't been expecting any messages that night, especially not from Carlos but lo and behold, there it was.

It wasn't anything remarkable, just a simple, "Hi" but Carlos had never texted Kendall first before and Kendall had only texted Carlos once a few years before that. Kendall hadn't even been sure Carlos still had his number. Apparently he did. Kendall didn't know if he should wait a bit to reply. Something about appearing too eager… But wasn't that only if you were actually dating the person. 'Screw it' Kendall decided, clicking the reply button and typing, "Hey".

"This is Kendall, right?" came the next message.

"Yeah, and this is Carlos?" Kendall replied, getting more nervous with each message. There had to be something important imminent.

"Yeah… I was hoping you could tell me what you meant earlier. I asked Jett. He said you probably wanted to get in my pants. If you need pants, you'd probably fit better into James's than mine. I didn't really know who else I could ask, so…?"

Kendall's eyes widened as he read through the message. His mind was pretty much going, 'Ohgodohgodohgodohgod'. He asked himself aloud, "How the hell is he _that_ innocent and why is my life this complicated? What am I supposed to respond to that with?"

Kendall settled on trying to avoid the question, instead asking his own. "What's going on with you and Jett? I heard you two were holding hands at one point."

"Oh… that. There was a slight mishap in Home Ec. We were making sticky toffee pudding. Then after we got stuck, Jett decided the easiest way to get it off would be to freeze it so we got to his place and put our hands in the freezer. Wouldn't recommend it." Carlos sent the message frowning, recalling the stickiness and the cold. He shivered at the thought.

Kendall couldn't help but laugh at the other's foolishness. At least he'd managed to avoid answering his question. The doorbell rang then so Kendall quickly sent Carlos a message saying, "There's somebody at the door. I'll talk to you tomorrow" before putting his phone away and going to answer the door. It was James… and he was crying.

"James!" Kendall exclaimed. "What's wrong?"

"Sh… she broke up with me" James sobbed.

Kendall pulled his friend into a hug. When he pulled back he immediately asked, "Why?"

"She just said we were drifting apart. Then she left. Almost two years and she only gives me one sentence of an explanation." James mumbled.

Kendall spent the rest of the day comforting his friend, telling him that he could do better and that it was her loss. He was exhausted when James left. He collapsed onto his bed, completely forgetting about Carlos. He was glad he'd managed to cheer James up somewhat though.

When morning rolled around, Kendall swore as he remembered his promise to talk to Carlos. Guess today would be the day he admitted everything and hoped for the best. As he showered and dressed himself, he couldn't help but feel like something was going to go very wrong.

**A/N: I hope everyone's enjoying this story. As usual, I appreciate any reviews. Thanks in advance.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I'm sorry this has taken so long. I went on holidays to Mallorca for a couple of weeks and didn't have my laptop with me. I don't even know how I survived!**

**Disclaimer: BTR isn't mine.**

When Kendall got to school, everything seemed fine. James looked a bit more upset than usual but, given the circumstances, that was to be expected. Logan sat next to him, awkwardly. He was always awful at comforting people. He looked relieved when Kendall sat down beside him.

"So did he figure it out?" Logan asked.

Kendall shook his head. Logan sighed in exasperation. James looked confused.

"Did who figure what out?" James asked.

"Carlos. Figure out Kendall likes him." Logan explained quietly.

James looked over at where Carlos sat, facing away from them, then back at Kendall. Kendall's cheeks had turned scarlet. James laughed. "You're waiting for _him_ to figure that out?" he asked.

"Wait, you knew I liked him?" Kendall asked in confusion.

James smiled proudly and said, "Dude, I am the romance King. Nobody has a crush that I don't know about!"

"Logan told you, didn't he?" Kendall asked, suspiciously.

"No, of course not…" James spluttered.

"Nice try." Kendall smirked, patting James's shoulder before sending a glare at Logan. He proceeded to stand up, intending on going over to Carlos. Before he could, he noticed one Stephanie King walking towards Carlos. She put her hand on the back of his head and kissed him. Kendall could only gape at them as she started trying to deepen the kiss.

Carlos seemed to realize what was happening then and pushed her off of him. He looked shocked and started spurting nonsensical syllables as Stephanie smirked and sauntered back to her own table. As Kendall stood frozen, James had walked right up to Carlos and punched him in the face.

"James," Carlos started as he picked himself up off the ground, nursing his nose with his left hand, "I didn't… She was the one who…". James refused to listen and got a few more punches in before Kendall managed to unfreeze himself and restrain his friend.

"James, she broke up with you," Kendall whispered, "You can't attack everyone she kisses."

James ran off into the bathroom so nobody could see him burst into tears. Stephanie was really cruel for doing that right in front of him. Also, by kissing Carlos, James realized she must've hurt Kendall as well. That bitch. Kendall himself then came into the bathroom and wrapped his arms around James. "It's okay," Kendall promised, "She doesn't deserve you". Eventually the two exited the bathroom, slightly happier only to be met by the principal. Given the stern regard on the man's face, the boys could pretty much anticipate what was coming next.

"James Diamond," Principal Gustavo started, "Violence of any sort is not tolerated in this school. Think about that in Detention all next week."

James nodded in understanding and Gustavo walked away. Kendall smiled sadly at his friend and gave him a small pat on the back. "Could be worse" he stated. James smiled down at his shoes. He guessed Kendall was right. The bell rang then and the boys were forced to part for their separate classes.

Kendall finally talked to Carlos at lunch. They had both ended up in the bathroom at the same time and Carlos had initiated a conversation. "Hey, uh, thanks for earlier. The James thing. Anyway, I was hoping I could ask you something."

"Sure, no problem. What's up?" Kendall asked, concernedly.

"Well, it's about Stephanie. See, I've had this crush on her for a while but she was always with James so I could never ask her out or anything. Since you're friends with James, I was wondering if you'd know if he'd start throwing punches again if I, you know, did ask her out."

Kendall could feel his heart-breaking. He'd hoped too much but of course Carlos was straight. He might as well tell him to go for it. "Yeah, I think James has everything under control now. Feel free to ask Stephanie out." he said, trying to keep his voice stable when the rest of him was falling apart.

Carlos grinned at him for a few seconds before remembering their conversation yesterday. "Oh, wasn't there something you were going to tell me, since there's no chance of me figuring it out on my own?" he asked.

Kendall shook his head. "It doesn't matter anymore. Everything's different now." He explained. Carlos looked confused for a split-second before he shrugged and walked away. If Kendall really didn't want to tell him he wasn't going to press it.

When Kendall got back to his table, his friends looked at him expectantly. Kendall shook his head sadly. "I couldn't tell him. He's going asking out Stephanie." He stated. James, for a second, looked like he was going to kill Carlos but thankfully, he made the emotions dissipate. James and Logan each patted one of his shoulders apologetically as he sat down.

Kendall cried long into the night. He'd tried to console himself with how Carlos would be happy but after what Stephanie did to James, he feared Carlos would get his heart broken too. He had never felt this pessimistic about anything but he simply couldn't imagine the relationship working out. He considered that that could work out in his favour but Carlos was obviously straight and Kendall felt like an asshole for even thinking about it.

James had come over earlier with a tub of ice-cream which they had shared but neither of them had felt much better after it. Kendall had thanked him anyway. He had good friends and he could rely on them to be there when he needed them and not hurt him, except accidentally when they played hockey together. He'd actually believed he could get past this. That Carlos was just one hurdle to get past. Then Carlos had texted him, "She said yes! :D x" and his whole world fell apart again.

**A/N: Wow, that hurt to write. Anyway, please review and hopefully I'll write the next chapter faster than this one!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I kind of just realised I said in the first chapter that they went to an all-boys school and then last chapter I brought girls into it… For the sake of continuity, let's pretend that between Transition Year and Fifth Year, the school decided to let girls attend too.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own BTR.**

The rest of the week dragged on for Kendall. He went to school but nothing his friends said or did could make him smile; at least really smile. Every time he turned around he'd see Carlos and Stephanie kissing or holding hands and it was torture. Everybody said they made a cute couple; even James after he got over the initial shock of it. Kendall, however, went out of his way to avoid having to hear them being mentioned.

Kendall's grades were the only thing benefitting from the situation. He studied to try and keep his mind off of Carlos and that would keep him busy for a good few hours but eventually something would remind him of the other boy and Kendall would end up a sobbing mess surrounded by pillows and blankets.

It was probably because of how Carlos kept texting Kendall and telling him how his dates with Stephanie went that left Kendall such a mess. Carlos was so blissfully happy that he didn't even notice how anybody else was feeling.

James and Logan tried multiple times to comfort him but Kendall was obstinately stubborn. He knew he was acting like somebody a good few years younger than himself but he just couldn't help it. Carlos never paid attention to anybody other than Stephanie and Jett at school. Jett felt bad for Kendall but it wasn't like he could do much about it.

Jett had tried to convince Carlos that Stephanie was just going to hurt him like she hurt James but Carlos refused to listen. He just wanted his first proper relationship to be perfect and wouldn't let anything Jett said ruin that.

It was literally only a couple of weeks into their relationship when Stephanie started flirting with other guys. Carlos didn't even notice it. Jett knew it was only a matter of time before she'd dump him and his poor best friend would be a wreck. He figured the sooner their relationship ended, the less heartbroken Carlos would be so he decided to try and prove Stephanie was cheating.

One day after lunch when Carlos was absent for an appointment and Stephanie was on clean-up duty, Jett sneaked Stephanie's phone out of her bag for a few minutes. When Jett looked through her inbox, he was quite astonished. He presumed Stephanie had been cheating but not that much! The messages from someone under the name "Guitar Dude x" went back for months. Jett only read a couple of them but it was obvious Stephanie was seeing him and she'd even been cheating on James!

Jett was trying to think of a way to tell Carlos while he scrolled back down to the most recent message from Guitar Dude which read, "Hey babe. Meet me at the park after school. The usual spot x". It'd been sent this morning so all Jett had to do now was tail them and take a photo or two. Carlos would be working so he couldn't just bring him with him.

So Jett returned Stephanie's phone to her bag and went to the rest of his classes as if nothing was any different but with intentions of revealing the cold truth later that day. Unbeknownst to him, one of the Jennifer's had seen him with Stephanie's phone and informed her of that fact. Stephanie immediately guessed what Jett was up to and changed the location of her meeting with Guitar Dude.

Jett arrived at the park soon after school and hid behind a tree waiting to get his evidence. Stephanie never showed up but Jett wasn't disheartened. So what if she knew he was onto her? He was sure he'd be able to prove it somehow; and soon. He decided he might as well stay at the park for a bit anyway and so he sat on a swing and played a game on his phone. A few minutes later, somebody sat down on the swing next to him. He looked up to see Kendall Knight.

"Hey Jett" Kendall said solemnly. He looked like he'd been crying recently. Poor guy, liking the unobtainable.

"What do you want, Knight?" Jett asked in annoyance. Sure, he felt sorry for the other boy for having a crush on someone who barely noticed him but it wasn't like he and Kendall were friends. Not the kind who spoke regularly anyway. They acknowledged each other's presence on occasion.

"I wanted to talk about Carlos." Kendall murmured.

"Oh, you mean about that huge crush you have on him that everybody except him has noticed?" Jett asked, smirking when Kendall blushed bright red.

"It's that obvious?" Kendall questioned, looking down.

"Nah, I was just messing with you. I only know because Carlos asked me about what Logan meant. I still can't believe he doesn't get it. You really have to spell things out for that guy." Jett replied, shaking his head at his friend's naivety.

"Oh. Well, anyway. I wanted to ask you… Do you think, if Stephanie and Carlos were to break up, I'd ever have a chance with him? Like, is he completely straight, or?" Kendall choked out.

Jett couldn't believe Kendall was actually asking him that. He could've just asked Carlos himself after the impending break-up. That would've made a whole lot more sense. So, as punishment for his cowardliness, Jett decided to mess with him. He remembered how Carlos had once told him how much he disliked James and figured it would be hilarious to see how this next stunt played out.

"Sorry, Kendall. Carlos might swing both ways but you're friends with James Diamond, whom Carlos happens to dislike quite a bit. As long as James has an important part in your life, I'm afraid Carlos will never even consider you as a potential boyfriend." James lied. In all honesty, he wasn't quite sure if Carlos was interested in both sexes and he couldn't really see how Kendall being friends with someone Carlos didn't particularly like would influence any future decisions but he really wanted to see what Kendall would do.

The strange thing was, Kendall didn't even question it. He was excited to hear that Carlos liked guys too (Jett felt kind of bad seeing how his eyes lit up when he mentioned that) and all he replied to the rest of the things Jett said was "Oh." Then Kendall had dashed off and left Jett wondering what exactly Kendall would do with that information. This could get interesting.

Nothing changed for the rest of that week up until the next Monday. Jett hadn't been able to catch Stephanie cheating but, as it turns out, he didn't need to. Stephanie broke up with Carlos, calling him a prude. Jett would have punched her if he hadn't been shocked about Carlos not having put out and if Stephanie hadn't waltzed off before he had time to react.

In the midst of trying to comfort Carlos, Jett happened to look over at Kendall just in time to see a very hurt look on James's face and a confused one on Logan's. Jett's train of thought started going a mile a minute – 'Holy crap. Is he actually going to stop being friends with James? I'm a terrible person. I'm going straight to hell. I can't believe he's _that_ into Carlos!'

**A/N: Sorry to the people who thought Jett was just going to be the nice best friend or whatever. This is **_**Jett**_** we're talking about here! Maybe he can redeem himself. Please review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Welcome to part seven. I can barely believe people are still reading this!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own BTR.**

**Warnings: Mentions of cutting. Please don't let this trigger anybody.**

"James, I think it would be best if we weren't friends anymore." Kendall said quickly. The entire room had just heard Stephanie dumping Carlos and now Kendall was destroying one of the best friendships he'd ever had. The wounded look on James face made Kendall feel extremely guilty and the chance of becoming more than friends with Carlos was the only thing holding him together right now.

"Wait… what?" James and Logan countered. Neither had any notion of why Kendall was doing this. What had changed in the past few minutes that would make him not want to be friends with James anymore? The only thing noteworthy was Stephanie breaking up with Carlos… Then Logan remembered that sometime last year Kendall had mentioned Carlos not liking James. It still made no sense though. Why would he want to stop being friends with him now? Logan glanced over at Carlos' table just in time to see Jett staring wide-eyed right at them.

"Kendall, what did Jett say to you?" Logan asked exasperatedly. Kendall turned to face him, looking surprised before asking, "How did you.." but Logan interrupted by saying, "He was looking over here a second ago with a look on his face that literally screamed 'What I've said is going to have major consequences'. So what did he say to you?"

Kendall looked down at his shoes. He'd never heard of a situation like this arising before and he wasn't really sure how his friends – if they were even still his friends now that he was after being an idiot and listening to Jett – would take it.

"He said Carlos wouldn't even consider going out with me as long as I was friends with James." Kendall murmured.

"And you actually listened to that douchebag?" James chimed in, glaring at his so called friend. "I'm not even going to comment on your idiocy here, Kendall, but did you really think sweet, innocent Carlos would be so spiteful that he'd make you dump one of your best friends just so you could be together?"

James didn't wait for a response. He stood up and walked off, closely followed by Logan. Kendall was left feeling confused and abandoned, despite having been the one actually meaning to do the abandoning.

Kendall glanced once more at Carlos before grabbing his bag and heading to his locker. He hadn't exactly planned on Carlos seeing him and thinking he wanted to be followed but that was indeed what happened.

Kendall entered the empty locker room, unaware of the boy trailing after him. He curled his fingers around the top edges of his locker and started hitting his head off it, repeating, "You stupid idiot!"

He jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder and a soothing voice saying, "Calm down, Kendall. You're not stupid and you're not an idiot. What's wrong?"

Kendall turned to face Carlos, having recognised the voice and just about managing to avoid flushing bright red. He tried telling the truth in the vaguest sense possible. "Somebody told me something and I stupidly listened to him and ended up hurting two of the people I'm closest to."

Carlos pulled him into a hug and after the initial surprise of it, Kendall hugged him back. "It'll be okay," Carlos promised, "They'll forgive you and everything will go back to normal."

Kendall hoped he was right. He pulled away from the hug and looked Carlos in the eyes, fighting the urge to kiss him because that would just make everything ten times worse. "I wish it was that easy" Kendall sighed.

"Everybody makes mistakes. I'm sure yours wasn't _that _unforgivable." Carlos consoled.

"I may have been attempting to abandon one of them because the person I like doesn't like him." Kendall murmured, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

A wave of confusion washed over Carlos' face. "Did you consider asking the person you like to get to know your friend before deciding they don't like him?" he questioned.

Kendall shook his head and tried to think of what James and Carlos could possibly have in common, other than the fact they both liked Stephanie. "It's probably too late now anyway." He concluded.

"It's never too late to try." Carlos said, grinning at Kendall before making his way back to his table.

Kendall smiled back weakly and spent the rest of lunch thinking. He groaned realising his next class was Accounting and he'd have to talk to Logan.

Logan glared up at him as he took his seat. Kendall figured it was best to wait for him to talk.

"Do you have any idea how close James came to starting again?" Logan spat.

Kendall's eyes widened as he realised what Logan meant. "But he hasn't done that for years. I thought he was better, like, less insecure."

"Well obviously being dumped by his girlfriend and now one of his best friends has made him a whole lot worse."

"I have to fix this" Kendall stated before getting up and leaving the classroom. His teacher hadn't come in yet and he figured Logan would cover for him. He crossed the hallway to get to James' Biology class and knocked on the door.

"Excuse me, Miss, may I borrow James Diamond for a minute please." He asked politely.

James rolled his eyes as the teacher nodded and he was forced to go over to Kendall. They sat on the bench outside the room. Nobody understood why the bench was there, seeing as there were no other benches in the entire school, but nobody ever questioned it.

"What do you want, Kendall?" James asked, annoyed.

"Logan told me you almost started cutting again." Kendall explained.

"So what?" James hissed, "You think you have to stop me because you'd feel guilty?"

"It's not like that, James. I don't know what came over me. I made a huge mistake and I'm really sorry. I don't want you to stop being my friend. Not for anything or anyone. How about I stop being foolish and we decide against throwing five years of amazing friendship down the drain?" Kendall said, desperately trying to fix his friendship.

"It'll take more than a stupid speech to fix this, Kendall" James stated, but he'd already started to forgive his friend.

"I'll buy you a tin of cherry flavoured lollipops." Kendall smirked, knowing his friend's weak spot.

"You can get them in tins?" James asked excitedly and Kendall smiled, knowing his friend had forgiven him.

"I have no idea. If you can't, I'll just buy a load of lollipops and put them in a tin" Kendall promised.

James hugged him and whispered, "I guess I can just about forgive you".

"Great," Kendall whispered back, "But now we really have to go back to our classes".

As soon as Kendall got back to Accounting, Logan looked up at him expectantly.

"He forgave me" Kendall told him.

"Thank God," Logan responded, "Do you have any idea how difficult it is to glare at someone for that long?"

Kendall shook his head, trying to refrain from laughing. Carlos had been right, he realised. It _was_ never too late to try. Who knows? Maybe he still had a chance to have a relationship with the guy.

He was optimistic as he walked to his double Biology class. He didn't usually sit with Carlos so he was surprised when the other boy sat down next to him, a serious look on his face.

"Jett told me what happened".

**A/N: I don't know why I'm being so cruel with these cliff-hangers. Sorry. Oh, and please review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Read the note at the bottom if you want to know why this chapter is a bit odd. But read the chapter first 'cause spoilers.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own BTR.**

"Jett told me what happened."

"Um… right. Do you hate me now?" Kendall asked, feeling his eyes starting to well up. He looked away from Carlos and down at his desk.

"What? Why would I hate you?" Carlos questioned.

"Because I'm an idiot who very nearly lost my best friends for the sake of a stupid crush." Kendall sighed, wincing at having to describe his feelings as a simple 'crush'. It felt like so much more than that. He felt a hole in his chest when the other boy wasn't near.

Kendall was so caught up in thinking about his feelings, he almost missed what Carlos said back to him. It sounded suspiciously like, "It wasn't stupid" but that couldn't possibly have been it, right? Before he could say anything else, Carlos had returned to his usual seat and Kendall was left bewildered.

They didn't get to discuss matters further until that week-end. Neither felt like it would be a good idea to talk about that particular topic by text, over the phone or at school and they both had too much homework to even think about meeting up after school. That left Kendall completely distracted for five days. He was so worried about having misheard Carlos that he couldn't even consider the possibility that he hadn't.

The boys had arranged to meet at the park on Saturday afternoon. Kendall woke up bright and early to was ready and waiting on a park bench at 12 pm sharp, barely able to sit still because of his nerves. Carlos turned up around ten minutes later, his hair still dripping wet from his shower and looking embarrassed.

"Sorry. I must've slept through my alarm." Carlos apologised.

"That's okay. I haven't been here that long anyway." Kendall reassured.

Carlos nodded and then got straight to the point, "Um… I can't go out with you, Kendall"

Kendall gaped at him for a second before blurting out, "Oh, uh, that's fine. You don't like me like that. No problem."

"What? No! I meant right now. I can't go out with you right now. It wouldn't be fair to you 'cause I'm trying to get over somebody else. Unless you don't want to go out with me anymore." Carlos said, uncertainly.

"Oh!" Kendall exclaimed, "Of course I still want to go out with you. I get it. You just still like Stephanie."

"Actually no. Funny story that. I never liked her that much. That's why I broke up with her. I couldn't pretend anymore." Carlos said.

"But I thought she broke up with you." Kendall questioned.

"Yeah. She refused to be the one who was dumped so I just played along that day at school. We actually broke up the night before." Carlos explained.

"Then who is it that you're trying to get over?" Kendall asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Jett" Carlos mumbled.

"I'm sorry, what?" Kendall asked. Surely Carlos couldn't like Jett Stetson! He might have been attractive and all but he was so… shallow.

"He used to act differently when it was just me and him. He even comforted me when my hamster died. I thought he'd laugh at me for crying about it but he has a sensitive side. I was trying to think of a way to tell him I liked him when he told me you had a crush on me. He shouldn't have told me. That should've been something you said yourself. Anyway, I don't think I can be friends with him anymore since he blurts out peoples' feelings without thinking about how those involved will feel. I've pretty much lost all the respect I had for him. I never liked how he acted around other people anyway so it's probably for the best." Carlos explained, gulping as he realised he didn't have any other friends like Jett.

Kendall was worried about Carlos. Any friends he had at school had been friends with Jett first. He doubted any of them would support Carlos's decision if he abandoned Jett. There was only one other option. After voicing his opinion to Carlos, in what he hoped was the nicest way possible, he asked the other boy if he'd consider befriending Logan and James.

As it turned out, Logan and Carlos were already friends. They had joined a rugby team around the same time and had bonded over it without a lot of people knowing. Kendall was having a hard time picturing Logan playing rugby but he figured as long as he was enjoying it, it was fine.

James, however, was another problem altogether. Carlos had never liked him. No matter how many notes James had lent him for German class, nothing had improved. They didn't even have anything in common. They listened to none of the same music, watched none of the same tv shows, didn't like the same flavour lollipops – that was always a clincher for James – or even like the same colours!

Kendall was starting to think his friend group would be divided. It kept him up at night worrying that he'd never be able to go somewhere with all three of them . It wasn't like he could lock them in a room until they found something they could talk about on a regular basis. He worried more about that than about what his relationship with Carlos even was.

Kendall couldn't come up with anything that would help in either scenario. He hated that they'd ignore each other whenever they were together but he didn't know what he could do. Nothing changed until Kendall's birthday. The four of them were at Kendall's house to watch scary movies. Carlos had been attempting to bake Kendall a cake and some cookies but he'd forgotten the cookie recipe and the internet was down. He'd admitted defeat and went to ask the other three if anyone knew a recipe. James begrudgingly admitted to knowing one and went to help make them.

Everyone was surprised when the cookies were the best anybody had ever tasted. None of them knew James could bake. What was more surprising though, was Carlos begging James to teach him everything he knew. James looked over at Kendall who was grinning wider than he'd ever seen him grin before. James agreed to help and Carlos gave him a bear-hug before running over to Kendall and saying "Thank you for letting me be a part of your friend group. I know it's taken ages for me to fit in but today, everything is perfect except for one thing. Happy birthday!" before kissing him passionately. Logan and James smiled at each other before leaving the room and going to put icing and candles on the cake.

It wasn't like in the movies when they talk about seeing fireworks. It was so much better. Carlos took Kendall's breath away and vice versa. They pulled apart when they heard the door closing and remembered where they were. "Best. Birthday. Ever." Kendall said, between gasps. Carlos grinned at him and kissed him again but they were forced to pull apart this time by the door opening again and a cake being carried in. Kendall didn't need to wish for anything as he blew the candles out. He had his two best friends and his boyfriend and everything was perfect.

**A/N: I had serious writers' block for this chapter. I literally had to trick my friend into helping me. She doesn't like BTR so I took part of the plot, substituted in Alex Gaskarth for Carlos, Jack Barakat for Jett and Vic Fuentes for Kendall and called it a completely serious hypothetical question. Unfortunately it wasn't a completely unbiased question. I forgot she ships Jalex when I was asking and that's how Carlos ended up having a crush on Jett. She did get annoyed when she realised why I actually asked though… Oh well, I got a chapter out of it. I'm sorry it got so cliché. It wasn't supposed to. Let me know if you want a sequel where Jett goes on a murderous rampage.**

**As always, please review!**


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